Originally Published 05/23/2011 05:30:38 AM
Photo Source: Jessica Beebe
It started with papers. Two or three pages gently floating like late spring snow outside my 3rd period algebra class. A couple of minutes later, a full notebook came hurtling down. Then another notebook, then two and three at a time. Then a textbook. Then another, and another. Finally, the grand denouement: an entire desk and chair landed with a CRACK!!! that made my heart race.
Nobody knows how Raymond “Solar” Yannick got his nickname, but throwing his goddamn DESK and CHAIR out of a second-floor classroom window helps explain why he got it. Do you believe that? Who the hell does that?
There were only three weeks left until summer vacation, with an early heat wave settling in. I guess he got a little stir-crazy. Of course Solar had been fried since the third grade, also. He was never far from a Listerine bottle filled with Old Grand Dad or a tube of Testors. Or both.
I was in Dickson’s class on the first floor, and Solar was in study hall with Ham upstairs, across the little open “U” that was formed by the two wings of the school. And of course, EVERYbody in Dickson’s class was watching the festivities and trying not to be obvious about it. Tough to do with the rain of school supplies getting heavier and more interesting. He had to be aware that SOMEthing crazy was progressing outside his window, but Dickson soldiered on with great nobility, as he always did. Until the final CRACK.
And of course, NObody in Ham’s study hall saw a goddamn thing. She had stepped out for a few minutes. Probably hitting the teachers’ lounge for a few drags. Maybe a nip or two to steel herself for the rest of the day, if you believed the rumors that floated around. Little did she know.
I think Solar ended up with a suspension for the rest of the year and detention well into the next year. Who ratted on him? We never found out. It’s one of those things are best left only lightly analyzed, if at all. But really, do you believe that? Solar Yannick and his Flying Desk. At least I can say I was there for THAT one.