Equine In Paradise

Originally Published 08/17/2011

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6:00 AM: Up early, and had carrots, oats and a couple of sugar cubes. Circled around my stall as much as possible, pissed and crapped as usual, and then laid down for a little longer before finally getting up. Hot today, with many bugs flitting around, as it appears the boy didn’t muck out the stall completely. I’ll give him something to muck about later.

7:00 AM: Got washed and brushed and led out for a walk around the stables. A pleasant day by the Atlantic. I wish I could walk the boardwalk sometime and have cotton candy. Maybe I’ll make a break for it…

10:00 AM: Up the ramp for the first show of the day. Jumping 40’ into a 12’ deep fish tank is kind of a drag. But doing so with a hot chick riding you is rather pleasant. I go through this dog and pony show four times daily, six days a week, and the rest of the time is all mine. It’s not a bad life.

1:00 PM: Very hot today! The landing is extra pleasant on days like this. I’m tinkering with a new move, kind of a mid-air twist like I’m suddenly falling on my side, but then I recover just before hitting the tank. The crowd loves it so far. Zelda, the aforementioned hot chick, isn’t won over yet: I heard her complaining about it to her manager the other night. But hell, are they there to see her? Didn’t think so.

3:00 PM: Downtime between shows. A few more carrots, some more sugar cubes for energy, a quick nap…aaaahhhhhh……

4:00 PM: Owie! Singed my damn mane during the fire dive again! That bastard stage hand needs to lighten up on the lighter fluid next time! Must remember to kick him in the nuts for this.

7:00 PM: Last dive of the day! Pulled off my twist, and TOTALLY stuck the landing. Zelda was upset again, but what else is new? Bitch, bitch, bitch. It was a good day overall. I got some extra salt lick for nailing all the jumps, and the crowds loved it all. And hey…hot chick riding me in mid-air…

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