You try to recreate the memory
sitting in the same place, the same way
playing the same song at the same time
thinking the same thoughts
trying
so desperately
to hold on
to the feeling
But you can’t
You know too much
You’ve lived too much
The song is different
The sunset is different
The world is different
The memory
Is left
Behind
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Image Source: Rent Here Realty
Flecks of paint collect
beneath the radiator
steam of winter
loosens the wallpaper
Steam of coffee
fogs the pane
watching The Loop
and the passing el trains
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Image Source: Tracy Stoops – peeeple.com
Your stoop was short
three steps from
street to door
shortening the distance
to you
The buzzer always died
third ring
then the door would wheeze open
and my pulse would race
Cooking smells in the foyer
black and white mosaic tiles
junk mail piling up on the floor
Up three flights
to the open door of 3F
where you always stood
waiting to welcome me
home
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I was glad to be your
fallback
ballast to your
dreams
comfort as you questioned
your life, your plans, your
needs
Now that you have
moved on
what is left for me
after I endured it all
for you
while aching
silently
what is left for me?
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After supper
After chores
After TV
After reading
Come the dark
Come the time
when lights are low
Come the evening
Come to me
Let us end the day
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Image Source: Jessica’s Health Blog
An empty shell
spiraling
on a circular path
downward
A broken spirit
crawling
on shards of glass
bloodied
A common rat
caged
trapped by the demands of
life
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A skim of ice
on the pond
in the morning
nights are getting cold
The crunch of frost
on the lawn
russet leaves
under foot
Clear days
wood smoke plumes
harvest time
autumn of the year
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Image Source: scubamom.com
Now that they have gone
the roads and sidewalks open up
while the ice cream stands close
for the season
Empty and forlorn
summer towns without the summer people
shuttered and ready for
the coming winter
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Winter firewood
seasoned and ready
after a long
hot summer
warms an autumn
night
invigorates a New England
heart
and soothes a New England
soul
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I will let you down
I am not
what you think I should be
I am your
disappointment
I will spoil your plans
crush your dreams
dash your hopes
I will break your heart
I will drop the ball
spill the beans
burst your bubble
I am not what you think
what you want
what you hope I will be
I am me
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